Center for Hope and Healing – Grief Counseling

For the first several weeks after the death, tasks, visits, and errands can keep you so busy that you may be in a state of shock and disbelief. It takes time to understand the full impact of the loss in your life. When the phone rings, you may think it is your loved one. Your thoughts and feelings may go back and forth, like waves. You may feel like you are in a fog.

As you come to terms with the reality of the death, you may feel more emotions. Grief is such an individual experience. No one else knows exactly how it is for you. You may receive advice from family and friends about how you should grieve. They might tell you to “get over it” or just “be strong.” It is important to listen to your heart and be patient with yourself. There is no magic finish line for your grief so please take time to process your feelings. The intensity of your grief often reflects the amount of love you shared with the person who died. It is very important to honor those feelings.

When you are grieving, it may seem like you are on a roller coaster ride of reaction and emotion. This is all a part of grieving. This year is about adjusting to a changed life. Each day may remind you that your loved one has died and is no longer here. You may start the day feeling good and by the afternoon, you feel overwhelmed and lost. Knowing you are not alone – especially in these times – provides enormous comfort. Midland Care is a place of support and healing for you.

We have learned that teens respond to people who choose to be a companion to them on the grief journey, rather than to direct it. Grief for a teen is different from that of a child or an adult, compounding and complicating his or her already complex life. When someone close to a teen dies, they may suddenly find themselves dealing with possible unresolved issues with the person who died, the circumstances of the death, dramatic changes in his or her life situation or changes in relationships with others after the death.

Midland Care is a place of support and healing for teens who are grieving.

Children often show rather than talk about their grief. Their behavior, play and interactions reflect their grief. Children grieve in small doses, they cannot tolerate periods of prolonged emotional pain. A child who is grieving may quickly shift from being sad to laughing and playing. This does not mean they don’t care or are not grieving.

Some children may seem unaffected. They may not understand that death is permanent – they may think the person is coming back. Some children may try to deny the reality of death in order to avoid painful and intense feelings. Others may hide their sadness in an attempt to help caregivers feel better. Children often blame themselves for death. They may think their thoughts, wishes, or behavior made the person die. Children usually do not tell you they are grieving through their words. No two children grieve in exactly the same way.

How you can support a grieving child:

• Be a good listener. Encourage your child to share their thoughts and feelings.
• Be patient and available. Don’t expect children’s reactions to be obvious and immediate.
• Provide security, reassurance and tenderness. Use simple and direct language when describing death to a child.
• Be honest, and don’t be afraid to express your own feelings.
• Allow children to express a full range of feelings. Anger, guilt, protest and despair are all common.
• Be flexible and adjust to individual needs.
• Allow children to participate in the funeral, if they want to. Let them know what to expect.
• Allow time for play.
• Understand that it may be difficult to concentrate, but keep on task. This is a normal reaction to grief.
• Do not alter the role of the child.

Midland Care is a place of support and healing for children who are grieving.